Guide to Eloping With Family

Though a lot of couples decide to elope just the two of them, craving a completely private, “just us” experience, there are also so many couples who can’t imagine their wedding day without their family around. If you want the adventure and the magic of eloping, but you know your experience wouldn’t be complete without your mom helping you button your dress, or your dad helping you tie your tie, or just having the people you love most in the world by your side, eloping with family is totally possible! 

This guide will tell you how to elope with family – from figuring out logistics to a few tips to make the experience go smoothly.

Can You Elope With Family?

There are still a lot of misconceptions about elopements out there, and one of them is that it  has to be just the couple, and that guests aren’t allowed. But, if you want to elope with family, you absolutely can!

You’ll need to have an honest talk with your partner about what your expectations are and what you want for your day – is it just immediate family, or are grandparents invited? Are there cousins you’re close to that you want to be there? Be careful not to fall into the trap of feeling like you need to please people and follow other’s expectations of your wedding day – though you’re having guests at your elopement, that doesn’t mean you’re opening up the guest list to everyone you know! 

Decide how many people will be there for your elopement. There’s no magic number of guests that makes an elopement feel really meaningful and special, but of course, elopements are much smaller than a typical wedding. In our opinion, a maximum of 15 guests is the sweet spot – 15 and under keeps your elopement intimate and personal, allowing you to spend time with your loved ones. Anything more than that, and it can start getting stressful!

Choosing the Right Location When Eloping With Family

One of the first things you need to do for any elopement is to choose a location where you’ll say your vows! When you’re eloping with family, you need to keep in mind their needs as well as yours. Here in Maui, we have tons of beautiful locations to choose from. Many are easily accessible, while others are harder to get to. 

Consider if anyone on your guest list has mobility concerns – would walking on sand be difficult? Do you need a location that you can drive right up to? Make sure that when you decide where your ceremony will be, it’s in a location that everyone can get to safely! Some places might also have restrictions on how many people can be there for a ceremony, but with a small elopement, this isn’t usually a concern.

Part of our job as your elopement planning team is to help you find the perfect spot – and to take into consideration the specific needs of your elopement! So, if you’re eloping with family, we’ll give you a list of recommendations for places that are not only beautiful, but also work for you.

How to Include Your Family in Your Elopement

While it’s totally fine for your family members to just be at your elopement as guests, there are also some fun ways that you can get them involved in the day!

Have a Family Member Officiate

One great way to honor someone in your family, and to make your ceremony even more personal and meaningful, is to have a loved one officiate. Getting ordained is surprisingly easy – they’ll just need to go to ULC.org, and after a few minutes they’ll be an ordained minister, for free! Then, they can perform your ceremony and sign the papers to make things official. 

Someone close to you will be able to create a completely personalized ceremony for the two of you, and it can make your day so special!

Give a Family Member a Role in Your Elopement

Along with officiating, there are also lots of other ways to give your family members a role in the elopement. If you have young kids in your family, you can ask them to be your ring bearer or flower girl. You can also ask family members to say a few words at the ceremony or have them give a toast at the reception, or if someone has a talent (like singing or playing an instrument) they can do that!

Ask for Help Planning Your Elopement

There are a lot of decisions to be made throughout the planning process – and when you’re eloping with family, you can ask them for advice! Of course, keep in mind that the final decision is yours – but if you’re feeling stuck or need some support, it’s great to have people to lean on.

This can also be an amazing way to include family members or other loved ones who aren’t going to be at your elopement and to make them feel like they’re still a part of your day!

Tips for Eloping With Family

Now, let’s talk about some tips for eloping with family, and how to get the most out of your day!

Take Some Time for Yourselves

Though having your loved ones there with you is incredible, we also think it’s important to have a little bit of time to yourselves on the big day! This can be as much or as little time as you feel you need, but take some time to just be with your partner and enjoy some quiet. 

Some ways to do this could be with a first look before the ceremony, a photo session together before the reception, or a small hike or an adventure that’s just the two of you before you rejoin your loved ones.  

Some couples even do a two day elopement, having their ceremony one day and celebrating with family, then having the whole day to themselves the next! 

Spend Time With Family Before the Elopement

If you and your family are traveling for your elopement, take some time to hang out together before the big day! All of this is part of your elopement experience, and having fun at the pool, going to the beach, and all the pre-elopement festivities are just as important. Have a photographer come along too – you’ll love having these memories!

That being said, we also recommend taking some time to yourselves! Most people have their family members hop on a flight first, while the couple stays a while longer to have some adventures that are just the two of them.

Eloping With Family?

Our favorite elopements are the ones where the couple has their family with them! These always end up being so special and meaningful, so if you’re eloping with family, we’re here to help. Our elopement packages have everything you need for a perfect day – location scouting, vendors, photography, and more! If you’re ready to start planning, contact us!